The thing is
She thought she didn’t know anything
Not when it came to stories
But she knew people who did.
She told me how I ought to speak to so and so
How I’d see him walking beside the canal everyday
With his binoculars
Or the ‘Lace’ lady
Who’d been living on the water longer than she had
“I bet she’s got a tale or two”.
But she knew about the monks
And how Cromwell had knocked the top off the church tower
And she told me
How they say that John O’Gaunt camped there
And so did James the something or other
And how she thought that Alrewas was mentioned in the Doomsday Book
And how she had friends on a boat in Cambridgeshire
And how they were always inviting them down
But something always happened with the family to stop them
And how they used to have a cabin cruiser
But sold it up to live on a narrow boat eight years ago
And how that was her husband fishing off the stern
But she didn’t know anything
Not when it came to stories.